Sharing experiences, creating connections
The internet can be a place where people can create what they want to and hide what they don’t want others to see. I hope to never feel that I am not human enough to share the flaws in my life.
I recently shared something that my partner and I worked on in our relationship and the feedback I received was overwhelming. Not just in the comments but in the DMs.
One woman that reached out to me wrote me several super long messages (and my super long messages back) about her relationship issues that sounded remarkably similar. I couldn’t help but bond with her in shared experiences of feeling “less than” and diminished. I loved that this post helped her and others that reached out to me.
Here is the text from the original post.
Haven’t posted a photo since January because, well, things got weird for a bit. The virus, yes, but some other big things too.
Since I’ve known him, my partner of 12 years has had anger issues, no physical harm, but it managed to damage regardless. It too hurt my self esteem, ruined trips, and add so much tension that I called it quits in January.
Entire days could be lost due to an ill placed dish sponge. Walking on eggshells was my life.
Things finally came to a head and I had to do what was best for me despite loving this person so much.
In January that trip back from Key West it was clear to me this was over. I was done. I worked to end what we had, to figure out how to separate our intertwined lives and morn the loss of the good times we had, of which there were so many.
After 10 days passed I went to see him and end it... he had done some thinking...he swore he now understood what he had done and was going to change.
I was skeptical but reluctantly gave him a chance to show me.
I was shocked and shook at the things I could do and he didn’t get mad. I was shocked that we could ride in the car with out a major outburst. And when I left the tooth paste cap slightly ajar there wasn’t a meltdown that ruined the day. “Is this what normal will be like now?” I thought.
He has managed to show me what out new normal is. Not one episode since and he says he doesn’t even miss it. That it’s like life is lighter now.
I’m super proud of you and all the work you’ve done. Thank you Jay.
And thank you to:
#walkingthroughanger @drchristianconte where jay got some great advice and direction
And all my family and friends that helped me. ——- 📸 Photo 2018 @annalouiseplease
I was so surprised by the support of my friends and IG friends (otherwise complete strangers) on sharing this tough point in my life. I hope that it encourages others to do the same.