I bombed the interview, but I'm ok with that
Written April 1st, 2019
Today I bombed an interview. It sucked and it was embarrassing.
Let me say a couple things up front, I LOVE my current job and I don’t want to leave. That said I do interview every now and then just to stay fresh but to also see what else is out there. I think Its a good skill to keep fresh. Also worth noting - any moment Im away from work to interview I do make up, either by coming in early or staying late.
Ok now that thats out of the way…
This was my 4th interview at this fintech start up that I was really behind the mission of. I thought I did really well telling my story in the previous 3 interviews (2 calls and one in person) but today I was not “on” - was in a very bad headspace.
I was working though some difficult thoughts that morning. Thoughts about what I wanted in my career and if this place was truly right for me. I think that got to me. I even thought to myself I should just throw the interview just so it was over. I shook this off - thinking that was insane to think of.
Again I love my current job I don’t want to leave it. But also I feel the pressure try to level up and I’m not sure that can happen in my current company at the pace I had in mind.
Today I had prepared to speak to 2 more people and I felt good about that.
So when I was thrown in a room with 12 designers and was told to tell my story I fumbled though every single thing I said. I didn’t tell my story well and the work that I showed didn’t exemplify my strengths as a leader and strategist. My nerves got to me and it felt like I was talking to a room that already didn’t like me. All I wanted to do was leave.
I then talked to the other 2 people (the ones I was expecting to talk to) and did well. But at the end I re-synced with the main interviewer and just kept it short, even cutting off the entire interview early. I was just done and wanted to leave. I was over it.
So I bombed…
BUT hey, sometimes you bomb… the important thing is to keep going.
Takeaways from this experience:
Make sure you’re in a good headspace, if not cancel. I was not in a good space today, I love my current job and let that guilt get to me.
Outline what you are going to say - I should have known this from all the story telling classes I have taken but I didn’t today because I thought I had it. Clearly I didn’t.
Its ok to feel embarrassed but know that it doesn’t define you - I feel like shit right now but I know that what happened today wasn’t really me. It was nervous and mildly depressed me, not the real me.
How I will recover:
Remind myself of how far I’ve come. I think back to being miserable in a couple previous jobs and how unfulfilling were. Then I think to what my life is now and how much Ive achieved.
Listen to a playlist that pumps me up - Matt and Kim, Rancid, or the entire Book of Mormon soundtrack will almost always get the dopamine flowing and I’ll start to feel better.
Write a blog that no one will read but just the act of doing so makes me feel better. 😊
Yes, I bombed an interview today at a place I wasn’t really sure I wanted to work at anyway. Learned a lot and maybe it was for the best.